A number of years ago, one of my relatives who is a successful sales person decided to take a job with a different company in the same industry. When I called to congratulate him, he told me he was studying the catalog of his new employer, which didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me, however, was what he told me next. He confessed that he was afraid that his new boss would fire him when he found out that he didn’t know the new company’s products inside out.

At first I thought he was kidding, but quickly realized he was serious. Thus it was a revelation to him when I suggested that the reason he was hired was not because of his knowledge of the equipment he would be selling; rather, it was because he has a talent for being able to sell anything to anyone. I explained that it’s easy for employers to teach people about their products. What they cannot teach are talents, which are innate. In short, he had no idea of his true value.

How many times do we see people – ourselves included – who are unaware of the value they provide to others? Because our talents come naturally to us, we tend to overlook them because they come easily. I believe this is one reason why we fail to recognize their value to others. After all, didn’t we grow up hearing phrases like, “No pain, no gain?” Surely things that come easily can’t be worth much to anyone, right?

We couldn’t be more wrong! I challenge you to take a close look at your talents. Better yet, ask some of your close friends to tell you what talents they see in you, and how valuable they are to others. And then start owning that value, if you don’t already do so. I invite you to let us know what you discover!

© 2010 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.

Opportunity surrounds us; we need only recognize it for what it is. Even during times of economic and other types of hardship, it presents itself. Yet many people are so focused on looking for opportunity that they fail to see it, even when it’s right in front of them. What I have learned is to stop merely looking for opportunity and start recognizing it – because it is everywhere. We just may need to see if through different eyes.

To me, there is more than a semantic difference between looking and seeing. To “look” seems to be passive, accepting, and non-analytical. That is, we observe things in front of us, collecting the images that present themselves in our range of vision. In contrast, to “see” seems to be active, questioning, and analytical. We perceive meaning in the objects or actions that we have “collected” through the act of looking, we recognize or identify patterns, we interpret and make sense of what is there by creating a context for it. Thus looking is a necessary but not sufficient precursor to recognizing opportunity. We have to take the next step if we are to find it.

If we seek opportunity, we will find it. Look around you with the intention of recognizing the help that is offered. Sometimes there are obstacles that prevent us from seeing it. Ego and stubbornness are two that I am well acquainted with; in retrospect, I realize that both have prevented me from seeing or taking advantage of opportunities that were mine for the asking. As a result, some life experiences have been harder than necessary. The lesson for me: though the opportunity may not be exactly what I had in mind, I would be well served to accept it for the lesson I can learn. We each retain the right to choose whether to recognize and receive opportunity, or to reject it. Why not learn the lessons that are offered, even if they don’t seem to be what we want or need at the moment?

How often do we refuse the help or the gifts that are offered? Perhaps they take the form of a person who is willing and able to help us, yet we fail to receive the opportunity he or she represents. What are we losing out on when we make these choices? Imagine how different our lives would be if we started recognizing the opportunity that is offered! How can we learn to see rather than merely to look?

Begin by becoming aware of the differences between looking and seeing. Actively seek the meaning in people, things, and actions around you. Put your ego aside and be open to receiving from others. I have found that even simple things will help me practice recognizing opportunities both large and small. For example, receive a stranger’s smile, a child’s curious stare, a door opened for you (literally or figuratively). Accept the opportunity with thanks, and you will find yourself experiencing the world in a different way.

© 2010 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.

More and more often, I hear people at various stages of their careers expressing a common desire: to do something different than they are doing now. Some of these individuals have reached retirement age and are looking for new challenges or opportunities; others have been laid off or are seeking their next job in anticipation of losing their job; still others who are working feel dissatisfied because they haven’t found their niche yet. Those who are just joining the labor force are wondering what their careers hold in store for them.

What all of these people have in common is a wonderful opportunity to take charge of their lives. Yet many of them don’t know how to do that, or where to begin. As a result, they settle for the status quo.

As someone who has done a substantial amount of career counseling over the years, I discovered that I have a talent for helping people identify their passions and find ways to incorporate them into their lives. Along the way I have learned that, despite what they say, some people are not ready to make the transition from merely doing a job to engaging in those things that bring them joy. Sometimes they lack the skills or experience to do so; other times they choose to not change. In order to distinguish between those who are ready for a transformation and those who are not, I have developed what might be described as a “readiness assessment.” Here are some sample elements:

To what extent are you willing and able to:

• Be successful?
• Suspend judgment of yourself?
• Be kind to yourself?
• Unleash your creativity?
• Examine your beliefs?
• Recognize and “own” your talents?
• Think outside the box?
• Take responsibility for the quality of your life?
• Make the necessary changes?
• Recognize that how you experience life is always your choice?

If you already are experiencing the type of joy-filled life that comes from living your passion, congratulations! Please tell us your story. If you are not, how ready are you to begin to make the transformation? Let us know!

© 2010 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.

Why do so many people “fight” for things, ideas, and positions? Politicians promise to “fight” for their constituents’ interests; why not just discuss them in a civil manner? I want to elect people who get things done rather than those who vow to spend their time not getting along with others. We “fight” City Hall. Why? The politicians and staffers there theoretically work for us. We “fight” for what we believe in – e.g., causes, issues, beliefs. Why not just live our values and beliefs, having rational discourse with those who see the world differently?

Fighting is wearing and wearisome. It causes us to expend tremendous amounts of energy and resources, to get all riled up, to assume/think/believe the worst about people and situations, to expect the worst – which means, of course, that we find the worst. Why not expect the best of people? We are highly likely to find it. Why not seek interests instead of positions? Why not accept the fact that though we won’t always agree with others, we can agree to disagree and remain civil to one another? This is not to say that we simply roll over and accept things that are abhorrent to us. It does mean we stop demonizing those who see the world differently, that we seek common ground, and that we try to reach agreement where we can, disagreeing civilly and seeking reasonable alternatives.

There is no need for the types of anger, vitriol, hatred, and meanness that have become so common in our society. Stop the fighting in our everyday lives. Start there. You may be surprised: world peace could follow. Here are five ways to begin to lose the “fight” word:

1. Watch the bellicose language. In fact, dump it altogether. Why? Our language forms our beliefs, and our beliefs inform our actions. By changing our language we ultimately change our behaviors.

2. Use alternative language that will lead to behaviors that are conducive to getting us closer to what we want. The old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” comes to mind.

3. Take the time to get to know others, especially those with whom you disagree. It’s very easy to revile, speak ill of, and demonize people who we keep at arms’ length. It’s much harder to act out when we have interacted with people individually, gotten to know them, and have looked into their eyes and seen the human beings inside who have hopes and dreams – just like us.

4. Acknowledge that we don’t have to agree on everything.

5. Insist that we respect the fact that those who don’t share our beliefs are fellow human beings who are like us in more ways than they are different. Seek these commonalities, and the differences will become largely insignificant.

Imagine what society would be like if all the vitriol – or even a large proportion of it – instead were channeled into productive language and actions. We might find ourselves getting along in a more peaceful world, with few, if, any, things so important that we feel compelled to fight for them. At the very least, our quality of life would increase dramatically.

What can you do today to replace “fight” language with words of openness, respect, understanding, invitation? By listening to others rather than assuming an adversarial position, we gain insights that help us understand, to see perspectives we hadn’t considered, to find ways that we can each get what we want and need. All this takes a little more time – to get to know people instead of relying on stereotypes to categorize them or to make attributions about them. The ROI (return on investment) of doing this is huge. What are you waiting for?

© 2010 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.

Something a colleague said to me yesterday caught my attention. Newly retired, he still is getting used to being able to do what he wants instead of having to adhere to a schedule set by others. We were having difficulty identifying a time during the week for us to discuss a project for which I had requested his assistance. Finally he suggested that we meet on Saturday. Knowing that he likes to spend weekends with his family, I questioned whether this meeting would interfere with that time. “No,” he replied, “Saturday is fine – because every day is Saturday now that I’ve retired!”

What a great concept! This comment made me wonder what makes any given day a “Saturday” for someone, and why is it different than other days? Perhaps Saturdays (as used in the context here rather than literally) represent a type of freedom – either from something or to do something. For example, they may represent freedom from having to go to work or school. Or they may represent the freedom to do what individuals want, to get to the chores around the house that are difficult to fit in during the rest of the week, to pursue a hobby, to visit with family or friends, to take a trip, or simply to relax and enjoy life.

Here are my questions for you:

1. What makes a day “Saturday” for you?
2. During any given month, how many Saturdays do you
   experience?
3. If so inclined, what can you to do create more Saturdays for
   yourself?

I invite you to share your answers to these questions with us!

© 2010 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.