To Lighten Your Load, Lead by Example

How often do you refuse help from well-meaning, caring, and/or concerned individuals? The would-be helpers may be your peers, subordinates, friends, family members, or even strangers. They may offer to complete a report or task for you, pick up lunch because you’re busy, or do something that would make your life just a little easier. Whatever the offer, however, you respond, “It’s okay, I’ve got this” or “I’ll be fine.”

Regardless of the reason for your refusal, consider this point: every time you rebuff an offer of assistance, you lose an opportunity not just to lighten your own load, but also to lead by example. Why? People take their cues from their leaders. Years ago I worked at a bank in Memphis, TN. One year in July the air conditioning broke down, and the heat and oppressive humidity outside soon permeated the inside of the building. Because replacement parts would take several days to arrive, the bank president sent a memo to all staff saying that men could dispense with wearing jackets and ties during that time. Yet despite the sweltering conditions, no one ever saw him without his jacket and tie. As you might guess, every male employee followed his lead. Despite what the president had said, people paid more attention to his actions than to his words.

If you refuse to accept others’ offers of assistance, you are sending the message that it’s not okay for other people to do it either. Even when you tell them that it’s okay for them to receive help, unless they see you doing it, they won’t follow. You lose the opportunity to make your life a little easier, you deny the other person the chance to feel good about helping you, and you lose credibility as a leader because you’re not walking the proverbial talk. Perhaps you can live with denying yourself a little easier path in life; can you really afford to create or maintain an environment in which the lesson learned is that no one is permitted to receive help?

The next time someone offers to do something for you, take a minute to ask yourself this question: “Am I the only person in the world who can do [this task]?” Unless the answer is “no,” or there is another compelling reason why you absolutely must do the task yourself, graciously accept the offer of assistance. You will free up your time to do something else, possibly provide a growth opportunity for others, and definitely give the gift of allowing that person to feel good about him/herself. Importantly, you also will be setting the example for others to follow.

To find other articles and resources that may be of value to you, I invite you to visit my web site at www.BusinessAlignmentStrategies.com and my blog at www.OptimizeBusinessResults.com.

Alignment Solutions is a concise, bi-weekly newsletter written specifically to help organizational leaders optimize their business results. Your e-mail address is never shared with anyone for any reason. You may unsubscribe by clicking the link on the bottom of this e-mail.

Click here to Join Our Mailing List!

© 2015 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.

What’s Your Choice?

A Christmas note from a college friend revealed that her husband had undergone some serious health issues during the first half of 2014 that dramatically curtailed their active lifestyle. Nonetheless, she reported that they are taking to heart an adage they heard during a trip to Scotland: “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

That saying reinforces the fact that although we seldom have control over life’s adversities, we always have control over how we experience them. We can choose to be the victim, or we can opt for a healthy alternative.

During my academic career I taught a required MBA-level human resources (HR) course. Every semester found me in front of about seventy students, nearly all of whom worked full time. Since most viewed learning about HR as a waste of their time, I devised a framework that I shared with the students on the first day of class. I said, “Although you don’t have a choice about whether to take this class, you can choose how you experience it. The fact is that whether you are an employee or a manager, or you want to become an employee or manager, the information you learn in this class will help you personally and professionally. So you can spend the next fifteen weeks being miserable, or you can use the time to discover how HR knowledge can make your life better, easier, and/or more satisfying. What’s it going to be?”

While there were a few students who opted to wait out the storm, most saw the benefit of learning to dance in the rain. Later, many of those students admitted they had acquired great value from the course.

The “dance in the rain” advice is equally effective for dealing with life-threatening forms of adversity, as my friend discovered. Perhaps the most dramatic and well-known example is that of Dr. Victor Frankl, whose classic book Man’s Search for Meaning reveals that he survived the Nazi concentration camps during World War II because he refused to see himself as a victim. By choosing instead to experience himself as retaining full control of his mind and spirit, he was able to live though his horrific situation.

So what’s your choice? Will 2015 be a year of procrastination, of waiting for the “right” time or the achievement of an arbitrary goal (e.g., a promotion, weight loss)? Or will it be a time of growth, discovery, and joy because realizing that you won’t melt in the rain puts you back in charge of how you choose to live your life given the hand you’ve been dealt? Why not make 2015 the year you dance in the rain more often? You might even find that you enjoy it!

To find other articles and resources that may be of value to you, I invite you to visit my web site at www.BusinessAlignmentStrategies.com and my blog at www.OptimizeBusinessResults.com.

Alignment Solutions is a concise, bi-weekly newsletter written specifically to help organizational leaders optimize their business results. Your e-mail address is never shared with anyone for any reason. You may unsubscribe by clicking the link on the bottom of this e-mail.

Click here to Join Our Mailing List!

© 2015 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.