Posts Tagged ‘Optimize Business Results’

Alignment Solutions Newsletter: How to Stop the Insanity of Unproductive Conversations

Wednesday, August 24th, 2016


How to Stop the Insanity
of Unproductive Conversations

Alignment solution: There are four simple techniques you can use to change your conversations from unproductive to productive.

Have you ever had the same conversation over and over again because an undesirable behavior or outcome failed to change? Perhaps it’s with an employee who consistently misses deadlines, promises to do better, then continues to be late. Maybe the conversation is with your kids when they don’t do their chores (again). The good news: you can stop this vicious cycle today by making a few simple changes.

One of my presentations last week at an international fire chiefs’ conference was called “Stop the Insanity of Public Safety Conversations: Change the Context.” In it I offered four simple techniques to help change unproductive conversations to productive ones – i.e., those that change an undesirable status quo. Although I can’t guarantee that you always will get the outcome you want, I can say they will get you out of the unproductive rut in which you find yourself. Bonus: the techniques work both inside and outside any kind of workplace.

Technique #1: Ask positive questions
The questions we ask are fateful: they point people in the direction in which they seek answers. If you ask negative questions, people find negative, unproductive responses. Similarly, positive questions will yield positive, productive answers. If you want people to come up with creative solutions, formulate positive questions.

Sample scenario: A project for a major client goes terribly wrong. Which set of questions is more likely to enable your team to devise a productive solution to ensure it doesn’t happen again?

1. You’ve done this kind of project successfully dozens of times. Why’d you mess up this time? Whose fault was this? How did you let this happen? What went wrong?

2. You’ve done this kind of project successfully dozens of times. What does it look like when you execute it perfectly? What do you do right? Who and what enables your success?

Technique #2: Change the question
Unproductive conversations often are the result of asking the wrong questions. Instead of answering such questions, respond by posing your own question that will guide the conversation to a more productive outcome.

Sample scenario: Executives at a retail store known for its exceptional customer service must cut costs. Which question is more likely to result in a thoughtful conversation about how to ensure the store retains its stellar reputation with customers?

3. How much should we cut the training budget this year?

4. What level of customer service do you (executives) want us to provide our customers this year?

Technique #3: Change the context or focus
Just as asking the wrong questions leads to unproductive conversations, so too does providing a context that the other person doesn’t care about, or views as a low priority. Re-frame the discussion by changing the focus or putting it into a context that matters to the other person.

Sample scenario: Despite all their training and discussions of why safety is important, some employees at a manufacturing plant still take shortcuts that jeopardize their safety. Which area of focus is more likely to result in a conversation that changes that behavior?

5. Safety: “Be safe out there!”

6. Courage: “Have the courage to be safe!”
(Thanks to Deputy Chief Mike Froelich, Sylvania Fire-EMS, for this quote)        

Technique #4: Change the level of the conversation
A common definition of “insanity” is doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different results. The authors of a book called Crucial Confrontations provide a technique to avoid engaging in repetitive discussions when the undesirable behavior persists: change the level of the conversation. Their contention is that there are three increasingly higher levels of conversation: content, commitment, and relationship. When a conversation doesn’t have the desired result, or enable movement toward that outcome, instead of sticking to the first (content) level, escalate it. (Though this suggestion is a variation on technique #3 above, I include it separately because it is a tremendously powerful tool.)

Sample scenario: A department manager consistently misses scheduled meetings with his employees, causing them to make embarrassing mistakes due to the delay in conveying important product information. Which example below is more likely to correct this undesirable behavior?

7. The executive’s conversation with the manager focuses on the pattern of missed meetings. The manager commits to changing the behavior (content). When the behavior doesn’t change, the executive repeats the previous conversation till the cows come home. The behavior still doesn’t change. 

8. The executive’s initial conversation with the manager is about the latter’s pattern of behavior. When the behavior doesn’t change, the second conversation focuses on the manager’s failure to deliver on his commitment. If the behavior still doesn’t change, the third conversation focuses on the harm to the relationship: the executive no longer can trust the manager because he repeatedly failed to keep his commitment.

Note: sometimes having the “content” level of conversation is enough to get the desired behavior; other times it’s necessary to have the “commitment” level of conversation. My experience is that it seldom is necessary to escalate the conversation to the “relationship” level.

Each of the four techniques described above can save you from the insanity of unproductive conversations. Choose the one that’s most relevant to the situation at hand. While it may not get you everything you want, at minimum it will result in a more productive use of your time and better results than you have experienced.


If you’d like to learn more about the benefits of using positive language, take a look at our article The Transformative Power of Appreciative Language. To find other articles and resources that may be of value to you, I invite you to visit my web site at  www.BusinessAlignmentStrategies.com and my blog at www.OptimizeBusinessResults.com


Alignment Solutions is a concise, bi-weekly newsletter written specifically to help organizational leaders optimize their business results. Your e-mail address is never shared with anyone for any reason. You may unsubscribe by clicking the link on the bottom of this e-mail.

Click here to Join Our Mailing List!

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© 2016 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.

Alignment Solutions Newsletter: The Paradox of Compassion

Wednesday, November 11th, 2015

The Paradox of Compassion

Alignment solution: You cannot be truly compassionate toward others unless you first are kind to yourself.

Compassion has two components: a feeling of deep sympathy for others who have undergone misfortune, and a desire to alleviate their suffering. It is compassion that leads many people to join “helping” professions or volunteer for charitable causes. Some organizations that identify core values identify compassion as a quality that defines who they are, as an organization and as individuals. People feel proud that they serve others selflessly and with humility.

Yet most are fooling themselves: they are not fully compassionate.

The paradox of compassion is that you cannot be truly compassionate toward others unless you first are kind to yourself. There’s a reason why flight attendants tell passengers to put their own oxygen masks on first before helping others during an emergency: you can’t be part of the solution if you become part of the problem. Yet too many people fail to make regular self-care a priority. The problem: if donned consistently, the armor of selflessness masks the seeds of self-destruction. You don’t expect that a phone whose battery has run down will work, so why do you expect that you will be able to perform at full capacity and be fully present for, aware of, and caring toward others when you don’t take care of yourself?

The holidays highlight the conflict inherent in the paradox of compassion. During this time of heightened awareness of others’ plights and the sincere desire to mitigate their misfortune, people are particularly likely to put their own needs aside. At the same time that work and family demands may increase, they try to reach out to others in a special way to ease their lives. Their generosity stretches them to their limits and beyond. When something has to give – as it will – they generally cut back on their self-care, leaving themselves feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and perhaps guilty due to their lack of family time.

Here are twelve ways that you can be kind to yourself starting right now:

  1. When you begin to experience signs of stress, take a few minutes to engage in deep breathing or relaxation techniques.
  2. When you mess up, treat yourself the way you would a similarly situated family member or close friend.
  3. Embrace setbacks as learning opportunities, not as occasions to beat yourself up.
  4. Consistently engage in positive self-talk.
  5. Ask yourself what you did WELL in a given situation. Build on those actions or qualities to improve in the future.
  6. Listen to your body and act on its needs in a timely manner.
  7. Take a few minutes out of your day to notice and enjoy the simple things in life.
  8. Write a 60-minute appointment with yourself this week on your calendar. Make that time sacrosanct. Do whatever YOU want to do during that time. Then book another appointment for the following week. Over time, increase the number of self-appointments each week.
  9. Throw yourself a “pity party” as needed to honor negative emotions and release    them. Set a timer for 10 minutes. During that time, feel as sorry for yourself as you possibly can. When the timer goes off, the party is over and it’s time to move on. This technique is effective for releasing any negative emotion.
  10. Laugh often.
  11. Do something fun every day.
  12. Get an accountability partner. Ask each other one question every day: “How were you kind to yourself yesterday?” Answer the question without comments, excuses, or feedback.

What will YOU do to be kind to yourself today?


If you would like more ideas about how to take care of yourself, take a look at our article 31 No-cost Ways to Take Care of Yourself. To find other articles and resources that may be of value to you, I invite you to visit my web site at www.BusinessAlignmentStrategies.com and my blog at www.OptimizeBusinessResults.com.


Alignment Solutions is a concise, bi-weekly newsletter written specifically to help organizational leaders optimize their business results. Your e-mail address is never shared with anyone for any reason. You may unsubscribe by clicking the link on the bottom of this e-mail.

Click here to Join Our Mailing List!

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© 2015 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.

Alignment Solutions Newsletter: How to Optimize Business Results

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014

How to Optimize Business Results

Alignment solution: To optimize business results, focus on helping your employees become fully successful.

No matter what business you’re in, people are the key to your success. Even organizations that are heavily automated or technology-driven rely on human beings to create the ideas and to run and maintain the equipment and technology that generate the revenue. Because employees’ abilities to achieve their designated goals determine the extent of the organization’s profitability and sustainability, it makes good sense to set your people up for success.

To help employees become fully successful, I suggest to my clients that they create an employee-centered workplace®, an environment in which every person, process, system, policy, and program is focused on enabling people to thrive. Such a setting makes good business sense: when workers have management’s full support to use their talents, you end up with delighted customers, engaged employees, and a successful business.

How do you create an employee-centered workplace®? Begin by focusing on four areas:

  1. Supervisors: provide them the support they need to enable employees’ success.
  1. Organizational culture: ensure the organization is employee-focused, not employer- or even customer-centered. When Fred Smith started FedEx, his philosophy of People-Service-Profit demonstrated his belief that if you take care of your people first, they will provide the service that enables the profits. The success of his company reflects his wisdom.
  1. Organizational processes: make sure employees have the infrastructure that enables them to do their work easily rather than sets up obstacles to success.
  1. Rewards and recognition: establish a total rewards program that compensates employees fairly for their contributions to the organization’s success.

To learn more about creating an employee-centered workplace®, take a look at my article, “The Employee-centered Workplace®: The Key to Optimizing Business Results.” Or take a brief self-assessment that will indicate how employee-friendly your workplace is.


To find other articles and resources that may be of value to you, I invite you to visit my web site at www.BusinessAlignmentStrategies.com and my blog at www.OptimizeBusinessResults.com.


Alignment Solutions is a concise, bi-weekly newsletter written specifically to help organizational leaders optimize their business results. Your e-mail address is never shared with anyone for any reason. You may unsubscribe by clicking the link on the bottom of this e-mail.

Click here to Join Our Mailing List!

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© 2014 Pat Lynch. All rights reserved.